Ways to get into Paul’s office #5689

First shown at Modern Art Oxford X EMPRES's 'The Art of Noises VIII', May 2023
Text
2023

Paul opens the door to a Cleaner. My apron is fuchsia, but less sexy. It’s large and lumpish, perfectly oblong with rounded corners, and ties around my back with bobbly cord that might become scratchy if it gets washed any more times. I have a visor on, that is almost fuchsia too, but definitely does not match the apron. I’m carrying a feather duster, almost comically large, a little bit flamingo. I wear hoops and chew gum and wheel a dirt-kissed trolley of cleaning supplies behind me.

Paul might look confused to see me – ‘might’ because I’m not sure if there are actual cleaners that come into his office ever and whether they look anything at all like I do now - but I don’t notice his confused face, because I quickly say ‘hi’ and then immediately turn towards the left corner of the room and start work. I dust here and there, shaking the duster dramatically but Fairy Godmother style, with a limp wrist. Maybe I move some of his objects around so they’re better aligned, get random books to swap places incredibly decisively, pretend to spray some empty bottles, make the spray sound with my mouth through my gum and my teeth.

I keep going like this for five minutes max and then leave, wheeling my trolley behind me, and see if I get a thank you.